Good & Bad

Today I sat at my desk staring numbly ahead.

It hasn't been a good two weeks, I thought.

Well, actually it's been good and bad. Erica's wedding and my engagement to Mike have been sources of joy, but my life lately has proven that trouble always comes in threes. Last week it was Liz's harrassment, this week it was an incident involving one of my students and the police, and today the third thing came.

One of my students died.

Actually, it's old news. I found out because one of my other students came to me and I said, "Wow, Juan hasn't been in school for awhile. Is he still in the hospital?"

My student's eyes widened. "Oh, miss, they must not have told you," he said quietly. "Juan passed away."

I'm not sure when it happened but I can only assume that it was last week when I was absent. In a school as big as this one, news takes awhile to go around.

Knowing that he passed awhile ago feels strange. Normally when you hear someone has died it's right after the event. It feels like standing in a lake and getting hit by a wave...a sudden crash, the pain of impact, and then it recedes as suddenly as it came leaving you standing alone, still stinging. This feels like visiting a cornfield in October after they've harvested...just dark and empty with the knowledge that you missed the chaos. I know I'm explaining it badly, but that's the only way I can describe it.

Anyway, this is the third bout of trouble so I hope it's finished for now.