The next day
So the last text message I posted last night wasn't the last text message Liz sent me. She continued to badger me, telling me how badly I wanted to sleep with her, and accusing me of just being scared.
When she asked me if I wanted to sleep with her and I wrote, "I don't," she sent me back this reply:
Be honest with yourself. this is the 2nd conversation re this topic and i get ambiguity. its ok, friends is ok, but i think you want (message broken here) , which is ok
What freaked me out the most was when I said, "Let it drop," and "I need to go to sleep," she replied:
Look-you are my best friend and i love you ya dork, so go to bed
Totally affectionate, casual, the type of thing I'd say to a friend after we'd had a minor and inconsequential tiff about politics or what color to paint her living room. Not something I'd say after two hours - yes, literally two hours - of bugging her for sex.
Then she texted me again.
Mike just called, the man is so damn hot
When I said, "Liz, please, I'm trying to sleep" she said:
F u and no more tonight
No sense of boundaries. No sense of having hurt me. And a temper besides.
One of the freakiest things was this message:
I love jim, if i have reason to leave, male or female, its up to them to make me leave. i want to leave - married not so good
I have to make her leave?
Today she sent me an email. She told me that she's taking some time away from me, that she doesn't fight with any of her other friends and she doesn't need this drama. She's sick of being so upset all the time. This, of course, makes me feel terrible, like I'm the one who did something wrong. I've identified this as an emerging pattern in our relationship: she takes advantage of me, we fight, she blames me, I feel guilty and become willing to reconcile.
Not this time. I wrote back, "Fine, I was going to ask for the same thing. You're the only friend in my life I've ever had this much drama with. I think you should keep to yourself until you can get your romantic feelings under control. They are not reciprocated in any way."
Later on, after consulting with my dad the psychologist, I sent her one last email asking her never to contact, visit, call, email, or text me again, and urging her to get counseling. My dad agrees that she's mentally ill. I feel guilty for not doing more to push her into getting help, but I've tried before this and failed, so I suppose this is it. I did it. I'm done with her.
Hopefully this is the last entry I'll ever have to write about her.
When she asked me if I wanted to sleep with her and I wrote, "I don't," she sent me back this reply:
Be honest with yourself. this is the 2nd conversation re this topic and i get ambiguity. its ok, friends is ok, but i think you want (message broken here) , which is ok
What freaked me out the most was when I said, "Let it drop," and "I need to go to sleep," she replied:
Look-you are my best friend and i love you ya dork, so go to bed
Totally affectionate, casual, the type of thing I'd say to a friend after we'd had a minor and inconsequential tiff about politics or what color to paint her living room. Not something I'd say after two hours - yes, literally two hours - of bugging her for sex.
Then she texted me again.
Mike just called, the man is so damn hot
When I said, "Liz, please, I'm trying to sleep" she said:
F u and no more tonight
No sense of boundaries. No sense of having hurt me. And a temper besides.
One of the freakiest things was this message:
I love jim, if i have reason to leave, male or female, its up to them to make me leave. i want to leave - married not so good
I have to make her leave?
Today she sent me an email. She told me that she's taking some time away from me, that she doesn't fight with any of her other friends and she doesn't need this drama. She's sick of being so upset all the time. This, of course, makes me feel terrible, like I'm the one who did something wrong. I've identified this as an emerging pattern in our relationship: she takes advantage of me, we fight, she blames me, I feel guilty and become willing to reconcile.
Not this time. I wrote back, "Fine, I was going to ask for the same thing. You're the only friend in my life I've ever had this much drama with. I think you should keep to yourself until you can get your romantic feelings under control. They are not reciprocated in any way."
Later on, after consulting with my dad the psychologist, I sent her one last email asking her never to contact, visit, call, email, or text me again, and urging her to get counseling. My dad agrees that she's mentally ill. I feel guilty for not doing more to push her into getting help, but I've tried before this and failed, so I suppose this is it. I did it. I'm done with her.
Hopefully this is the last entry I'll ever have to write about her.
posted by Danulai at
5:36 PM
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1 Comments:
there's that old saying, "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." all you can do is what you did. you go her (hopefully) out of your life but not before you tried your best. you have no reason to feel guilty for the drama she brings into her own life. her projecting it on you doesn't make it yours.
i got an analogy about guilt from a therapist. she said that guilt is a house with many rooms. usually people just go from the front door to the back door without opening any of the doors, so the end up feeling guilty. but if they were to stop and open one of the doors they'd find that there's another feeling there. sometimes it's anger, sometimes grief, sometimes happiness.
guilt is easier to feel than grief, or anger, or even happiness. something leaves me thinking you're walking to that back door. maybe you might want to stop and open a door about liz and find out what's in the room.
i hope you sleep well.
By
dykewife, At
10:48 PM
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