Oh boy...

One thing I've noticed about being engaged is that it's all my friends want to talk about. My friend Jen is particularly tenacious. She called me on my way home from work last night, again later that night after I emailed her a picture of my ring, and she promised to call me again tonight to get updates about the wedding. As I hung up with her, slightly amused, I thought, That's pointless, there won't be anything new that happens.

I was wrong.

As I was on the phone with Jen I got a text message from Liz.

For those of you who are new to the blog or who don't remember, Liz is my most drama-causing friend. She's carrying on an affair with a married guy, lives with her parents, and occasionally lashes out at her friends for the purposes of stress relief. She basically spent November to mid-January yelling at me and listing the ways I was a bad friend (not seeing the new Harry Potter movie with her on opening night, not driving an hour and a quarter each way to go to the mall with her on a school night), and the reasons I was a bad person (I didn't appreciate all that I had - a job, an apartment of my own, and a boyfriend that lived nearby). We reconciled in January when she was feeling happier, and I suppose we're on good terms now. She still goes through spurts of ignoring me and then expecting me to respond to her favorite form of communication - text messages - immediately whenever she chooses to send them.

Liz can get very jealous. For a long time I was afraid to let Mike meet her for fear that if she liked him she's try to take him. I knew he wouldn't go, but it still wasn't a scene I wanted to witness. I knew that when I told her my news she might be happy, or she might be upset. When the time came to tell Liz about the engagement I chose to email her rather than call her because even if she was jealous or upset she could still type out a fairly civil reply.

Well, her reply was stretching the boundaries of civil. She wrote, Congratulations!!!!!! If you put my in your bridal party, I'll never forgive you! Punish all your friends who made you a bridesmaid! I wrote back that I would indeed do that, and felt grateful that the conversation had gone as well as it had.

Last night, though, she apparently felt a little twinge of conscience because she sent me a series of text messages. In the first one she wrote: Sorry re being a snot today with the bridesmaid joke, i am happy for you, because you're happy, ok?

I was slightly bewildered - after all, I knew she was kidding around. I wrote: I know. And thanks :)

She wrote back: Honestly, if you wanted me in the wedding, i'd do it. again honestly, i wouldn't be hurt if i wasn't even invited to the wedding. thats the whole truth.

That's a whole lotta ambivalence. And really, I already have a bunch of family and friends who are more than happy to stand up in my wedding. But instead, I wrote: Well the wedding wont be for a long time so theres time for things to work out

She wrote: Thanks to you.

Thanks to me, I thought. What the hell does she mean by that? She continued: I mean thanks to you. jims childhood best friend died. i'm very worried. he's quite upset.

Here we go, I thought. She always screws up and then excuses it by telling me how hard her life is. I made the appropriate "Poor Jim" comment and she wrote: Well i won't worry about you then, i just felt like a bit of a bitch with my 'smart' comment. you know i'm sarcastic but i'd be hurt if you had made that joke.

I wasn't hurt until she said that. Why would she send me something she knew was hurtful? But instead of arguing I wrote: Nah it made me laugh since i had joked about the same thing :) At least that part was true - I had joked with Mike that now all the stress I'd experienced from my friends' and my sister's weddings was going to come right back at them.

She wrote: My intention was to make you laugh. if you make me participate, you pick the color, i choose the best shape for me. if you make me participate.

That burned me. Actually, since I have five bridesmaids with a huge variety of heights (one girl is nearly 6 feet tall, while another is barely 5'2"), builds, and complexions I was going to let them buy dresses in whatever color we pick for the wedding, but whatever style they choose. And not bridesmaid dresses or prom dresses either - normal dresses, like if you were attending a wedding. I'm not going to be a financial burden on anyone, and then they'll be sure to be able to wear those dresses again. But, secretly, I expected them to be grateful for my thoughtfulness, not demand it. In both of the weddings I was in my attitude was, "I'll show up and do whatever you want," and I was very happy about whatever say I got in my dress or shoes. So I was pretty miffed.

I wrote: I havent even started to worry about it, its literally years away. Which isn't quite true, it'll probably be in 2007. But 2006 and 2007 are both years, and there are two of them, so...yeah. And I already have my bridesmaids picked out.

She replied: Good i'll be out of the country for the wedding. ha ha. email me re irish music - yes or no. She wanted me to see an Irish band with her. Thank goodness I had an ironclad excuse not to - I'm standing up in my friend Erica's wedding next weekend.

So yes. Liz is my most drama-causing friend. But I wish she would stop injecting drama into this.