I don't get no respect, no respect at all
I haven't been blogging much lately because life has been incredibly busy. It's the last week of school, which is always hectic, and with my work at the nursing home on top of it I'm barely keeping my head above water. Grocery shopping is a major inconvenience. Laundry and housecleaning are almost out of the question. Doing something truly extraneous - like buying a new pair of pants for work or getting my hair done - isn't even on my radar.
Sometimes when I get some spare time I pack. I'm moving in with Mike on the 25th, in just three weeks. Since I won't be living alone much longer, I wanted to write about something that's been clunking around in the back of my mind: how hard it is to live single.
After you reach a certain age and the novelty of independence wears off a little, you start to realize that living on your own and making your own way is tough. Unfortunately, most people don't see it as tough, they just see it as sad. I got my share of pity and condecending advice from many of my happily coupled friends and relatives which just angered me. Single adults don't deserve pity. They deserve recognition. Maybe even a little admiration.
It's the little things that are hard. When I was having my couch delivered this summer there was no husband whose work schedule might be different than mine, who could be there between the hours of 8 and 5, which was when they wanted to drop it off. When I forget something at the grocery store or pharmacy there's nobody I can call to get it on their way home. When money's tight I worry on my own, rather than sharing my concerns or asking a significant other to snag some overtime.
The worst is when my car needs work. I've been ripped off by mechanics before, so I feel like I have four choices when it comes to automotive repair:
1. Call everyone I know in a search of a mechanic who won't rip me off just for being female
2. Settle on a random mechanic, be polite and hope they're fair
3. Settle on a random mechanic, be demanding and know that they're calling me a bitch after I leave
4. Wait for my dad/brother/Mike to have time to take it in for me
When my car needed a brake replacement this spring I drove around on faulty brakes for two or three days before I decided on option 2, hoping desperately that because I went to a dealership they'd be fair. I have occasionally acted demanding in hope that they'd think twice before padding the bill. But with my schedule I rarely have time to call around or wait for someone else to take it in.
Now that I'm moving in with Mike I'm starting to realize all the little conveniences that, hopefully, we'll both enjoy. But, in the meantime, props to all the single people out there. Here's some of the recognition you deserve.
posted by Danulai @ 9:20 PM
6 Comments:
It's rough, for sure, but it has it's perks too.
No one to disagree with your eclectic music choice, no one to tell lame work stories to you when you really want to be somewhere else, no one to fight over the division of groceries in the fridge, no one borrowing your car and returning it with a flat tire and approximately 1 teaspoon of gas in the tank, no one stiffing you on their share of the rent, no one accidentally erasing that season finale (you haven't watched yet) from the DVR, no one throwing a party the night before that big meeting with the VPs, and no one at all to puke in your shoes, the morning after said party, while you're at that meeting with the VPs.
Well, that works for roomates anyway....
I've never had a roommate throw up in my shoes, unless you count Rusty. Even then he doesn't really throw up in my shoes, but saves his vomit for my couch or bed. He's such a good roomie.
i'm nearly 46 years old and i've never lived on my own. i may never live on my own. who knows? i do know that were i to have a place, it'd have to have extra room for boy, because no matter where i am, he's always got a home with me if he wants it. i wonder if i'm a weird parent for not really wanting him to scat from the nest...
Now would be a good time to warn you that I've never taken a care in to get it repaired. In fact, you probably know more about cars than I do.
We can get through this together.
Having a man around is a definate boon when you are dealing with repair men. I have my oil changed at Walmart because they don't do anything else. But there are benefits to being independent too. Still, enjoy your relationship...may it last a hundred years.
All excellent points. The vomit in the shoes thing only happened once in college with a roomate I was already moving away from.
And not to diminish the original post, those are all things I think to myself at least once a week, being a solo living person.
As for car repair, I don't have any good advice, except that for some reason, mechanics these days mess with guys too. Find out who the locals trust, and go there. It's all I've got if you aren't into the grease-under-the-fingernails DIY route, or if you don't have a freind who is.
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