They call me paranoid

Today Mike asked me if I wanted to go to the Milwaukee Art Museum. I said I did, but felt a small nugget of dread in the pit of my stomach. After all, Liz goes to the art museum.

Y'all remember Liz, don't you? Liz, the woman who spent all last fall telling me what a lousy friend I was; who spent all winter ignoring me except to send long, navel-gazing emails; who tried to renew our friendship in the spring only to freak out when I told her I was engaged and spent the months of March and April wailing and gnashing her teeth because I was abandoning her and refusing to sleep with her.

Yeah, you remember.

Anyway, Liz lives in Waukesha, which is a city right next to Milwaukee. Liz liked to come to Milwaukee sometimes to enjoy some of our more culture-filled or funky neighborhoods, such as the Third Ward or the East Side, which is where I live. I imagine she still likes to come. I wouldn't know for sure...the last time she contacted me was on April 20th.

I'm fairly sure that Liz won't contact me again without provocation. However, if we bumped into each other out in public, I'm not sure what she'd do. I do think, though, that she wouldn't just ignore me and let me go.

Now, I know that we live in sizable cities. Milwaukee has upwards of 583,000 people, and Waukesha has nearly 65,000. Neither of us work in Milwaukee or Waukesha, we don't have the same religion that would lead us to the same church, we don't belong to the same organizations, and she only came to Milwaukee once in awhile for recreational purposes. So it's not like I'm going to bump into her every other week. That being said, though, there are things that we both enjoy that we might frequent...things like Milwaukee's eclectic antique shops, fresh-food market, ethnic festivals, independent bookstores, and cozy bars. I'm more likely to run into Liz than I am your average tourist, just because we have more in common.

So whenever I've been in Milwaukee, I've been worried. Actually, paranoid is a more appropriate word. Whenever I pass a silver Volkswagen I always check the plate to see if it's Liz's. Whenever I feel like a car is following me I always check the driver to see if it's her. Whenever I'm out in public I keep an eye out for her face and an ear out for her voice. And I always, always, worry that somehow she'll find out where my wedding is and crash it. Liz was one of the reasons I didn't bother to send an engagement announcement to the newspaper.

I can't help but worry, but I can help the actions that I take. And I'll be damned if I don't get out and enjoy my new neighborhood because of her. So I still go out walking. I still drive down Water Street, the long street that winds through the Third Ward and offers impressive views of the tall, tall buildings. And I still went to the art museum today with Mike, walking hand in hand and determined to enjoy the day.