Good Endings & Bad Starts

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I had some actual, much-needed social interaction when Ashley called me up and we went out for lunch. Afterwards we wandered around the city since I'm still getting my bearings, and I bought Mike's birthday present at the mall. It was a clearance-priced Roboraptor. Mike guessed what it was later that day, so I let him have it early. The cats' reactions to the thing were hilarious. Cider and Lucky wouldn't go near it, Edison kept creeping up on it to inspect it and jumping away, and poor Rusty just arched his back and bushed out his tail whenever it got near.

Later that night when we went to bed I found the Roboraptor standing in the middle of our bed. "Oh, he's sleeping on the bed just like the cats!" Mike whispered to me. I giggled.

I woke up this morning eager to go. We're having a big rummage sale and I was very happy to begin the process of getting some of the clutter out of the apartment. Unfortunately, once I picked up my cell phone my good mood evaporated. I had text messages.

See, on the 29th of June I sent an email to my bosses at the museum where Liz and I work, officially quitting. I actually blogged about Liz that day, about how even though we live in adjacent cities I wasn't going to let the possibility of us meeting out in public keep me from going out and exploring Milwaukee. I did have a hunch that I didn't mention, though...I was afraid that once I'd quit from the museum and Liz knew she'd never have an opportunity to bump into me there, she'd start her over-the-phone harrassment again. And she did. On the Fourth of July Liz sent me nine text messages. She told me that she'd lost respect for me, that I was never honest with anyone including myself, that my getting married was just giving into cultural pressure instead of doing what I truly wanted, and that I was the one who killed our friendship by not communicating with her properly. Also, so soon after calling me out for being dishonest, she made excuses for hiding her affair from me.

I was shaken and upset. But I thought that it was a one-time thing. I thought that maybe Liz had heard the news of my quitting for the first time and was blowing off steam. This morning I found out that I was wrong.

I had another four text messages. She told me how she was my friend because she regarded me as a charity case, how she'd been depressed too and had clung to me out of desparation, sympathy and pity. She said how much better and happier she was now.

It seems pretty mild when you read it here, but it's still not the greatest thing to hear first thing in the morning.

I'm not sure what to do. I can't block her number from my text messages without removing the whole service. And besides, I'm not sure that's a good idea. She's starting to establish this pattern of finding a new way to communicate with me when one way is blocked. She won't see me at the museum, so she text messages me. What if she can't communicate via text? What's next? Email? Phone calls? Visits? I think a restraining order is out of the question too. I mean, I can tell she's angry and wanting to hurt me, but she never threatens me overtly.

I have to do something. I just need to think of what. Because I'm not going to spend my life feeling dread every time my phone beeps to signal a new text message coming in, or looking over my shoulder to see if she's there.

Today got off to a bad start, but I'm going to make it end as good as yesterday.