Adventures in Dentistry

Before I even got up, I knew that yesterday was going to be a terrible day. In the morning I had to drive to Illinois for a pain-in-the-ass errand, then I had to drive to my old apartment to get it cleaned out for the end of my lease, and I'd cap it all off with a trip to the dentist in the evening. I needed fillings.

I've been rescheduling the dentist appointment for months. And actually, I would have rescheduled this appointment too, except that I didn't reschedule my last one. I forgot about the appointment entirely. I felt quite guilty about that, so I figured I'd better go ahead and keep this appointment so the dentist can finally get his money.

Now, I'm fairly terrified of the dentist. In fact, before I started having toothaches from the teeth I got filled yesterday, I hadn't been to the dentist since grad school when I got my wisdom teeth out. And we all remember how that went, right? Here's a little summary in case you forgot:

- numbness in my lip from nerve damage (temporary, thank God, although it lasted long enough for me to give my lip a thorough chewing)

- two dry sockets

- several trips back to the oral surgeon (who was 45 minutes away) to get medicine strips poked into the sockets

- huge swelling on my cheek and jaw

- pain, pain, pain

- an embarassing encounter with the head of the department at my college because I was so looped on vicodin

Yeah. So when the dentist assured me that my fillings would go well, I didn't believe him. After all, the oral surgeon had said the same thing. Besides, at least I was put under for the oral surgery. I'd be awake for this, which bothered me. I'm intensely squeamish, and the idea of something as hard and metal as a drill going into my teeth just made me shudder.

When I got to the dentist's office yesterday, I was terrified. When I saw the chair with all the materials laid out next to it, I began shaking. When the dental assistant explained the procedure to me - letting me see the tools and hear the drill - I just stared at the TV and tried not to cry.

The dentist came in and looked at my chart. "Now, you wanted local anesthetic. And you were also interested in nitrous?"

"YES," I said, an edge of desperation in my voice. "Absolutely. I'll take everything you've got."

"Well," he said, "everything we've seen points to the fact that the decay in your teeth is confined to the top layer, the enamel. And the enamel doesn't have any nerves in it. Just like the center of your tongue." He'd noticed my tongue piercing and couldn't believe that I insisted that the piercing was painless, but the fillings would be murder. "I think we can do this without any anesthetic."

"None?" I asked, my voice hollow. "None at all?"

"I'll do the drilling in quick intervals. Just a second or two. And I'll check to see what you're feeling. If you feel anything, we'll numb it up immediately. But let's try it without first."

I nodded and sighed, certain that this was the beginning of the end. "Okay."

Amazingly, what he said was true. I didn't have any pain. It was kind of like getting your fingernails cut - you can feel the pressure, but not really anything else. The fillings that I'd been putting off since December were done in less than fifteen minutes.

And so I learned a valuable lesson that day. That not all dentists are bastards. Some of them use really tiny painless drills instead.