Walking Home

This evening after Mike went off to his bachelor party I walked to the pharmacy to get him some allergy medicine. The whole way back I was jumpy and uneasy.

I'm sure that part of the unease was from the fact that I'd been watching "Forensic Files" and "Law & Order: SVU" all evening. Crime shows always make me antsy.

Part of the unease was from the fact that while I was waiting in line there was a big guy behind me chattering nonstop. A few glances told me that he was probably homeless and that he wasn't talking to a cell phone, he was talking to himself. Plus he didn't really understand personal space...when he coughed I could feel his breath on me. Once I paid I moved quickly down the street and around the corner before he could leave the store.

But a big part of the unease was just that it felt so lonely to be walking. I was close enough to Brady Street to see the street festival going on there, but there was nobody on the side streets. It was deserted.

I do think that seasonal affective disorder exists, but I don't think that I have it even though I get pretty down by the middle of winter. I think it's more that places like Wisconsin that get a really harsh winter feel so isolated. In the summer my neighborhood was jumping - every night there would be people on their porches chatting, you'd hear music coming out of open windows, and the restaurants would have tables set out crowding the sidewalk. You'd hear shouts and laughter until well after midnight.

However, tonight was the first really chilly evening, and with the exception of the street festival everyone else was bundled up indoors. That's the way it is in winter...everyone is huddled behind parkas, scarves, and boots. People hustle from the warmth of their car to the warmth of their house instead of lingering outside. It seems like everyone is rushing into their own little spaces instead of sharing the world outside.

I already miss the summertime.