When Worlds Collide

On the whole, I like Mike's parents. They're caring, always willing to help people in need, and have a strong sense of family bond. However, they are older and more old-fashioned than my parents, and I have a hunch that in a few years that's going to become a problem.

On Thanksgiving Mike's mom requested that we make out our Christmas lists so she can start shopping, so we made them out on the long drive to and from my parents' house, where we went for Thanksgiving lunch. My list consisted of:

a punch bowl
cookie cutters
Christmas ornaments
season 2 of "House" on DVD
a cardigan sweater

Not very inspired. In my defense, we got tons of stuff for the wedding, and there's only so much stuff you need to recieve in one year.

Mike's list was much more ambitious and was divided up according to price range. His gift ideas ranged from $4.99 (new tube socks) to $200,000 (an RV). His $10,000 item was a down payment for a house. Next to that request he wrote, "This will result in one grandchild for you, possibly two," and drew a small picture of the potential offspring with the notation, "Isn't he or she cute?"

"Mike," I said, glancing at his list as I drove, "that is not a bluff you want your parents to call."

"It's a joke," he said. "They'll know that."

"Still, don't stay things like that when we aren't prepared to make good," I said. I was hoping to have kids around the age of 30. So he made a small notation that said, "Christine may or may not have agreed to this plan."

When Mike's mom got the list she had a good laugh over both the tube socks and the RV, but grew thoughtful about the request for a house payment. She started asking questions about where we'd like to live and what kind of house we'd look for. I think this was also spurred on by the fact that before dinner I'd told them that the apartment upstairs from us is vacant, which is bad because whenever it rains the ceiling caves in a little, and it would be nice to have someone up there monitoring it.

When Mike realized that his mom was getting serious about us searching for a house he began to back-pedal, saying that it was a joke, we weren't ready for home ownership, and that we also weren't ready to deliver on the promise of grandchildren.

"Well, that's fine," his dad said. "I'm in no hurry to become a grandfather."

"Besides," his mom said, "you'd have to make sure to have a job where you get paid as much as you and Christine combined now, so when the baby's born she can quit her job."

Wait...what?

Me quitting my job was not an option. In the few conversations Mike and I have had about how things would work if we had a kid it was always understood that I'd keep working. I could cut down to four days a week, perhaps, and let my mom pick up the babysitting slack, or maybe Mike could work his job from home or start freelancing somehow. But never did we consider me being a full-time homemaker. This summer when I wasn't working I hated being at home and doing all the cooking, cleaning, and laundry...I can't imagine it would be any more pleasant when you throw a baby into the mix.

After we left I asked Mike if his mom really expected me to stay home full-time. He said she'd adjust once we broke the news to her that I wouldn't.

Good thing we aren't having kids anytime soon.