Should I stay or should I go?

With regards to the baby talk - Mike and I aren't going to have a baby. It's way too early, and having a baby as an excuse to go off my diet is a pretty bad reason (although it's better than my parents' reason for having me, which was that their birth control failed).

Also, with regards to my weight - I'm mostly losing weight because my doctor wants me to. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to wearing a bikini again, but it's mostly for my health. With my family history of high cholesterol and heart problems it would probably benefit me to drop some pounds. It would also benefit me to go running, but hey, one step at a time.

I know that my decisions are my own, but it helps to let people understand my position. That way they understand me and give me less hassle. So I guess that's why I'm going to go into a long-winded explanation of why I decided not to quit my job.

For those who don't know, I've worked for a staffing agency since I graduated and every year they rent me out to the high school in Illinois where I currently work. Every year I say I'm going to quit, and every year I go back. This year I was more serious about it that in years past, but when they contacted me about renewing my contract I decided that it would be best for me to spend another year there. My parents are disbelieving, my friends think I'm insane, and my husband is upset, but I think it's for the best.

Here are the reasons I like my job:

1. It's familiar. I can't emphasize that enough. It's hard to break into a new building and learn to deal with a new system, new people, and new students. I've gotten a taste of that with working at the middle school this year. I know everyone and everything I have to deal with at the high school, and that's nice.

2. I enjoy it. Believe it or not, I really do like my job. This year has been a little sad because even when awesome things would happen, I was slightly saddened because I thought it would be my last year and I figured I'd never see those kids again. But despite the ups and downs, it's overall a really good job.

3. It pays well. The pay cut I would take in getting a Wisconsin job would be significant, especially considering that I want to start saving for a house. Currently I have a good-sized 401k, but little money in the bank. I hate the idea of taking a pay cut now.

4. It's a good experience. It's really the best of two worlds. I love working with high schoolers, but most high school speech pathologists just work with language. The interesting speech, fluency, and AAC stuff is seen more at the elementary and middle school levels. My kids are so needy that I see all of it. It's too bad for the kids, but interesting for me. Plus I can't beat the resume experience - who wouldn't hire someone with years of experience working with the demographic I see every day?

5. What politics? Because I'm not really a district employee, and because I have so many people to answer to, the end result is that nobody watches me too closely. I'm able to duck out of a lot of political battles. Also, being a non-district employee means I'm free from staff meetings, chaperoning, hall monitoring, and other duties.

In all fairness, here are the reasons I could have changed jobs:

1. Commuting. My commute is an hour each way, which totals up to ten hours and five hundred miles each week. It's mostly freeway, the afternoon is rush hour, and it does get trying.

2. I want a pension! Wisconsin has an awesome pension system, and every year I work in Illinois is another year I don't get that benefit.

3. I ain't got nobody that I can depend on. I've gotten to know a few people around Milwaukee, like Ashley, and I've hung out with some of Mike's friends, like Kathy and Matt, but most of my friends still live far away - college friends scattered around the state, and work friends in Illinois. Having a local job would help me make local friends. However, I'm hoping to remedy this by making more time for the people I do know here in Milwaukee, and also getting to know people at my summer job.

And finally, here are some reasons that I wanted to not change jobs right now:

1. Enough changes, already! This year promises to be a busy one. With my sister's divorce and apparent breakdown, my brother's return from Japan, me and Mike saving for a house and working on our first year of marriage, things will be hectic. It would be nice if one thing stayed the same.

2. Budgetary concerns. Mike and I have never really been able to form a firm budget. Between medical costs and wedding expenses it seems like there's always been something that's cropped up as an unexpected expense. Right now I'm leery about taking a pay cut when I'm not sure we can afford it. I'd rather get into a holding pattern and then evaluate which expenses to trim when I do get a slice in pay.

3. The more things change, the more they stay the same. A lot of the things that bother me at my current job - the policies, the stress, the difficulties the kids face - won't change at a new school. They go along with the job. Even if some of the stresses are eliminated, new ones will crop up in their place.

In the end, the decision is mine. Mike plays a big part in the decision, and I certainly listen to my friends' and parents' input, but ultimately it's my choice. And I guess I've made it.