Dressing Oneself

Things are coming along in the new apartment. We're getting there slowly. I can't wait until everything is unpacked and it finally feels like home.

I go back to work tomorrow, so today Mike, Philo and I went out to get some work clothes for me. Almost nothing from last fall still fits, and even though I still have some extra poundage I can't really wear my maternity clothes. So I had to find some new things.

I actually went shopping on Tuesday too and didn't have much luck. I found pants but not much else. As I shopped I was alarmed at how much my body has changed. And it's not just that I've put on weight...I gained bout twenty pounds after grad school so I've had experience dressing a 170 lb self. But this was different. Even though I weigh 170 lbs again it's all in different spots. After shopping on Tuesday I went home discouraged and depressed.

When I went shopping today I concentrated mostly on tops, which I didn't get last time. I tried bigger and bigger sizes and found that nothing hung right, wrapped right, or fit right. I was getting more and more frustrated. Finally I tried on a button-down shirt. I had accidentally grabbed a size that was close to what I had worn before pregnancy. I figured I'd try it on to see if I could estimate what size I'd need. I began buttoning at the bottom and to my shock, it fit. It wasn't until I found myself tugging at the buttons over the chest that I discovered the reason that nothing was fitting.

I was used to dressing a chest that I had two cup sizes ago.

I've never been a chesty girl. In fact, when better-endowed women lamented that they couldn't find anything that fit I'd roll my eyes and tell them that I wished I had that problem. But now I have that problem, and it kinda sucks. Since I don't have time to shop around or go to a tailor I just buy the size that fits over the chest and hope for the best as far as the rest of the garment fits.

At least this preoccupation kept me from dwelling too much on my belly. Oh, my poor belly. I need to work on my abs.

I tried on the outfit that I'm going to wear tomorrow and showed it to Mike. He seemed to like it since I've been dressing myself in his t-shirts and my biggest clothes all summer. I've been wearing baggy things since Philo was born. But I found it discouraging. When I was wearing huge t-shirts I looked chubby but you couldn't tell for sure. Now you can tell for sure. Sigh. At least I live within walking distance of work. Hopefully doing my commute to work on foot will encourage some weight loss.