I think my responses about having colored hair and a job entertaining kids cinched it for me...

You Are Krusty the Clown

You were the class clown as a kid, and you still entertain people. From faking your own death to getting a wacky boob job, you'll do anything for a laugh. You will be remembered for: your face being everywhere, from cereal to home pregnancy tests Your life philosophy: "I heartily endorse this event or product."

The Simpsons Personality Test

Book meme

Stolen from VUBOQ!

1. One book you have read more than once: I read most books more than once. To me it's just like watching a movie more than once or listening to a CD more than once, which my friends just don't understand. Anyway, some of my favorites are To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee, Brief Intervals of Horrible Sanity by Elizabeth Gold, The Virgin Suicides and Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon, and the entire Harry Potter series.

2. One book you would want on a desert island: Blankets by Craig Thompson. It covers so many emotions and it’s a beautiful story. Plus it’s a graphic novel, so it wouldn’t be tough to read if I got weak.

3. One book that made you laugh: Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris. You’ve gotta love any book that starts out with a story about speech therapy.

4. One book that made you cry: Again, Blankets by Craig Thompson

5. One book you wish you had written: Trans-Sister Radio by Chris Bohjalian. It deals with transgendered issues, which I know a bit about. Anyway, nothing that was in that book was news to me so I figure I could have written it without doing much background research. Also, it’s a good book.

6. One book you wish had never been written: David Copperfield by Charles Dickens. I had to read it over the summer for a high school English class, and I HATED it. By the end I wanted to throttle David, he was so irritating. I liked Great Expectations much better.

7. One book you are currently reading: I’m not reading anything right now, although I have a small pile of books that Mike wants me to read. Maybe after the wedding.

8. One book you have been meaning to read: Um…the entire small pile.

9. One Book That Changed Your Life: Gone With the Wind. It was the first really thick book that I read, and I learned not to shy away from a book just because it’s long. Now I get long books on purpose because they last longer, so I’m glad I learned that lesson early on.

10. Now tag five people: Do it if you like

An open letter to the person(s) who attempted to steal my bicycle

bikechain
Originally uploaded by Lucky Haskins.

To whom it may concern,

I would like to express my condolences on your failed attempt to steal my bike. Normally I would be irked if I came outside and found that someone made an attempt to steal my property, but this attempt was so pathetic that I feel reassured rather than threatened. If all Milwaukee thieves are as dense as you are, I truly have nothing to fear in this city.

In exchange for this newfound feeling of safety, I’d like to offer you a few tips that might make your next attempt at theft more successful.

1. If whatever you’re using can’t cut through the loop I used to secure my bike, it’s time to find a new cutting tool. Seriously, this wasn’t even meant to be a bike chain and I think I got it from Big Lots or True Value’s dollar bin or somewhere else that was cheap. If your clippers can’t get through that, it’s time to invest in a new pair.

2. Next time, ensure that the cord is actually locked before you start cutting. Mine wasn’t. It was just looped around the bike’s rear fender and around a wooden post. Simply removing the cord would have been much easier.

3. In the event that I do lock up my bike, check the lock to see if I left the sticker for the combination on the lock. In this case, I did.

4. If you’re going to go through all that trouble, you may want to consider stealing a bike that is not a Huffy. A good choice would be my fiance’s bike, which was standing right next to mine and cost about four times as much.

Dipshit.

Best of luck in your future endeavors,

Christine

Snafu

Mike's extended family has three traits that have been tying me up in knots lately:

1. They're strangely concerned with tiny rules of etiquitte and aren't afraid to let you know you've broken one

2. They turn a small etiquitte mistake into a big deal

3. They hold grudges

Already Mike and I have run afoul of one of his aunts, twice. The first time was when she arrived late to my shower, and got very upset when neither Mike nor his parents stopped what they were doing to introduce me to her. The second time was more recently.

We wanted Mike's cousin, the aunt's son, to be an usher. So Mike's mom called his aunt first to make sure it was okay for the cousin to be in the wedding, and after she said yes Mike's mom talked to the cousin. Of course the cousin said yes, was fitted for a tux, and everything was cool.

Well, not really. Because Mike's aunt was mad that we breached etiquitte and asked her permission first before asking the cousin. She said we should have talked to the cousin first, and then her.

Now, to me, what Mike's mom did was courteous. After all, the kid is in his early teens and it'll be his mom that pays for everything. If the situation was reversed, I'd like to be asked just so I could decide if I could afford it before the kid gets excited about it.

Maybe I'm wrong. What do you all think?

I don't even want to think about what everyone's going to say when they get my invitations.

Sexy Name Generator

Stolen from Dykewife!




and...




Oh, silliness.